moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
