I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
