____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize