I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
