He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Sober January is a disaster.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
