your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
