highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
