I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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