I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
