My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
