WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dicks are not precious.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
