Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize