and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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