I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
