are you still at the devil's house?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
