You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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