I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
