Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
