If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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