you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
