Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize