This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
