Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
