areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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