honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
