next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
