party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
