i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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