But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
