Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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