I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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