so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
They have beer where we have blood.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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