so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
