But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
