What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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