He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
