You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
