With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
ttyl tear gas
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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