Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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