i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
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