i think my tv is drunk
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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