So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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