Where are you?
In a non slutty way
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think your dad took our porno
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
