so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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