I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
