He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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