Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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