I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
