Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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