I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
