He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
