Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
