if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
