So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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