is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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