i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
