I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
