Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Found your dick twin last night
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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