I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
