what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
