can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
