I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
