also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
